The Man Cave
Being a man has many advantages but, you are tasked with huge responsibilities such as working, organizing, raising your families, leading, and spending quality time with our partner/spouse. The feeling can be overwhelming. As a man, there are times where a lack of communication that is shared with your partner/spouse and that may be due to the fact that you were taught to not show emotions, don't show your feelings, hold things inside, and to just "Be the MAN". Truth be told, you usually don't see the fathers teaching their sons to communicate. It's usually the woman feeding the conversation and the direction that is going. Men tend to become defensive or shut down when they feel like they can't effectively gather their thoughts or communicate the way they feel inside. It can just be due to a lack of confidence, fear of the partner/spouse thinking they're weak, or acting like a female, really just not knowing what is best for the situation.
Within every man, God has equipped you with strength, endurance, wisdom, and knowledge to lead your families. The question for you is, have you tapped into that person, or are you just the little boy playing house? Are you trying to find yourself as a man? Are you in your career that makes you feel accomplished, or just in a dead-end job? Did you make a commitment to be the all-around good man that she married, but wasn't ready? Let's discuss it.
Men have set roles that God has ordained you to follow; Coaching by the word is here to help you meet not only your personal needs as a man, but for whom God either has already placed in your life, or whom He has lined up for you to meet, when He feels you are ready to have your Proverbs 31 woman. I do mean YOUR Proverbs 31 woman. Fellas, you can't have someone else's partner/spouse and think that is whom God has given to you.
As men, God has given you the special gift to lead your family and you can create happiness for them and your wives will build upon that happiness. Women are incubators, we take what you give to us and create more out of it. Well, they should be if you have the woman God has placed for you. What I mean by incubate it, if you give a woman some groceries she will make dinner, buy the house, she will make it into a home, give her sperm and most of the time, you will get a baby; there are so many scenarios I can tell you like that, but you'll need to schedule a session to get to the nitty-gritty of that. I am sure by this time you get my point, but I will say this; you need to understand both your love language and your partner/spouse's love language. Nothing about being a real man makes you soft, never allow anyone to tell you that. If you have been told that, it is time to reprogram your way of doing things and thinking.
This is to the man who is ready for a wife/engaged/married man: As a man, you are required by God to love your wife. You set the tone for the household. If you come home upset, it interrupts the flow of the home, your wife can become discouraged, your children become sad, disappointed, and it can even cause the dog to run to the corner. Since you play such a crucial role in the home it's vital that you bring happiness and peace into the home. People are creatures of habit if all we know is to exist in a hostile environment we'll continue to recreate that type of environment. What I mean by being creatures of habit; we could have been in a past relationship that consists of arguments and fighting about everything. It can even be that you grew up not seeing how to properly love yourself, your children if you have them, and your spouse. The time is now to break that cycle, break the past bad behaviors, get rid of that past hurt, disappointments, fears, and a generational curse. Yes, I said it, you may be angry, hurting, or bitter from your childhood or your current/past relationships. It's time to heal, break those generational curses, learn to communicate effectively, provide a safe space for your partner/spouse to open up to you, while also getting your personal needs, wants, and desires met.
As a man are you living or just existing? This is not only referring to your relationship but who you are as a man.
If a man provides for his family all their materialistic wants and needs but fails to give physical, spiritual, emotional and mental support does this still make him the ideal provider?
Here are four roles men should embrace:
Most men believe that being a good provider means supporting a family financially. It means much more than that. A man should also contribute to the emotional, spiritual, physical and mental well-being of his family. In order to do this, he must recognize that there are other currencies, in addition to money, that needs to be provided.
This means more than beating up the guy next door if he insults your wife. It means protecting her self-esteem and self-worth as well as your children’s. It can also mean protecting your way of life and guarding against any threats to the things that you and your family value.
Instead of waiting for your wife to take the initiative when you are having problems, take the lead. Get in the game and create what you want in your family instead of whining about your family situation. Marriage is not a 50/50 partnership. It’s a 100/100 partnership. That means everyone needs to give 100 percent in order for it to thrive. Remember, you get what you give.
What are you teaching those around you — especially your children — with your behavior? It’s important to provide a good example for your children, loved ones and community with both words and deeds. Set high standards and teach by doing.